5 Principles for Youth Engagement
Why you should buy oranges and other practical tips for working with young people.
My life would be very different without youth organizations. As a teenager, my parents dropped me off on the side of the road in a nearby forest and were confident that I would be back at the same spot alive and well but slightly smelly after a weekend of camping with my scout group. I was the talkative yet clumsy kid who did not win any craft competitions but enjoyed representing the scouts in a municipal stakeholder council. During my university studies, I was elected as the Chair of my student union and ended stretching my studies to nine years as I spent a few years advocating for affordable housing, more vegetarian options at university cafeterias, student representation in decision making or childcare for students with children.
As a teenager and as a young adult, I had tons of experiences of being taken seriously and given opportunities to take responsibility, fail and learn. But I was also frequently adultsplained, which could be characterized as empty words on how important it is that I you young people show up, listening to stories of how life was way harder in their youth, how my generation had it all easy and being explained how I will later in life understand how the world really works.
I started running the City of Helsinki’s Youth Department in 2012 in my early thirties. While I was the youngest department head in the city, I was twice the age or more compared to the teenagers we were serving. This was my first job in city government, running a department of 350 youth professionals. There was a lot to take in, both in terms of how to do impactful youth work, promote youth engagement and run a department as part of a large bureaucracy.
I remember distinctly two conversations from the first year. As we were preparing my first budget proposal with the department’s leadership, I found myself in the middle of a heated conversation on oranges and bananas. Our finance department and the city auditors had raised questions about the amount of money we were spending on food. They questioned whether this was essential for service delivery and wondered if the fruit constituted an improper employee benefit since some of the youth workers might be eating them. I remember distinctly the service leads with youth work backgroun in my executive team looking at me curiously, as if to see how the new director would react. It was clear that this was not the first fruit debate.
I wanted to understand the issue more deeply and delayed the decision on the matter. A few weeks later, I got an opportunity to dive deeper into the fascinating world of fruit at a youth club with Minna, an experienced youth worker. She helped me understand how the fruit was a very effective tool for facilitating meaningful conversations with young people. She explained that often young people are quite nervous meeting adults, especially if it is in a meeting room. The act of peeling an orange or a banana gave young people a moment to collect their thoughts and feel more comfortable opening up. When you are peeling a fruit, you can drop eye contact for a moment, breathe and think.
She expanded that the fruit also demonstrated generosity and an understanding of the daily rhythms of young people. Many teenagers came to activities or meetings hungry after a long day at school. Minna emphasized that young people were giving us their valuable time, not just waiting for the opportunities we provided. If they decided to join a planning meeting for their neighborhood, that was time away from friends or just hanging out. She made the comparison of an adult going to a town hall meeting after a long day at work. She elaborated with examples that teenagers were busy. Providing this small gesture of hospitality showed the youth that their time and willingness to engage was valued.
I am thankful to Minna and the other youth workers who helped me understand the complexity of professional youth work. Eventually, we decided not to introduce any orange and banana policies. Instead, we ramped up our food efforts. We partnered with a local grocery store chain to get soon-to-expire food to distribute at the youth centers. It was a win-win. The youth clubs were able to broaden their offering on something young people really wanted, cooking together was a relaxing activity after school and the grocery stores saved real money by not having to deal with the biowaste.
As the city’s youth director, I often briefed elected officials and civil servant colleagues on how to engage with young people. Over the years, I've developed five key principles that I believe are essential for meaningful youth work. I am currently working on a number of projects in North America where we are turning these principles into practice.
Four Stages of Child and Youth Development
Before diving into the principles, I want to stop on something important. It might seem obvious but it is worth emphasizing: young people are not a monolithic group. Their needs and experiences vary greatly depending on their stage of development. With my research assistant Emmanuella Assem, an undergraduate student at UNC Charlotte, we developed this easy graph highlighting the four main stages of child and youth development.
Between the ages of 0 and 5, children have a need to explore new things and test boundaries with the guidance of parents and caregivers. During this time, hobbies like play dates, singalongs, and art require a welcoming and engaging atmosphere. At this age, parents or other adults choose, facilitate and instruct these activities.
From age 6 to 11, children build skills and gain agency. Hobbies such as ballet, scouts, or playing piano give children opportunities to learn routines and develop mastery, earning approval from adults and peers alike. During this time, feedback is critical — constructive feedback and encouragement can boost a child’s self-confidence and sense of competency, while public shaming, excessive competitiveness or harsh critique can cause children to feel inadequate. Demonstrating progress and rewards for achievement and prosocial behavior is critical at this stage. Badges earned on scouting trips or new belts earned in karate help children grow confident in their ability to set and accomplish goals.
During adolescence, children ages 12 to 17 are focused on forming their identity and cultivating personal beliefs and values. Hobbies such as clubs or sports enable tweens and teens to connect with people who share their newly discovered passions. During this time, children yearn for a sense of belonging and for spaces that reaffirm their developing identity. They’re also constantly pulled by two opposing forces – to stand out and to belong – a tension that makes adolescence challenging. Development at this age can happen either through structured activities like dance, band, or mentoring programs, or in unstructured leisure activities like walking around the local shopping mall, reading a book, or hanging out with friends at a youth center or a park.
At ages 18 to 25, young adults develop a sense of responsibility and duty. Life transitions such as going to college, working a job, or moving away from home bring new levels of independence — and an awareness of the need to contribute to society. Hobbies such as volunteering and joining college clubs or faith-based groups provide stability in moments of transition. They expand one’s social networks of friends, family, peers, and other trusted adults, while offering opportunities to continue learning and demonstrate leadership.
Five Principles of Youth Engagement
But then to the five principles. I have wanted to keep them simple and actionable. I am eternally thankful for Helsinki´s incredible youth workers for opening their world to me.
1. Start from their experience.
When engaging with young people, start by asking about their lives. Ask what matters to them, what did they do today and how they wish to be introduced to others. Most young people do not actively think of themselves as “youth” but see themselves as dancers, readers, skateboarders, brothers, friends or activists. Starting from their experience respects their right to self-determination and ensures that you're learning from their unique perspectives. A powerful technique is to repeat back what you've heard and invite them to add or correct you. This means saying something like:”What I hear you say is this. What would you like to add or correct?” While this might seem slow, it demonstrates that you're truly listening. During my two decades of youth engagement, there has not been a single conversation where a young person has not wanted to add or correct something.
2. Provide windows and mirrors.
Young people need exposure to new perspectives (windows) as well as opportunities to reflect on their own journeys and skills (mirrors). Organizing gatherings where they can talk to peers, leaders and experts helps them contextualize their experiences and develop a more nuanced understanding of their role in the world. I have seen real transformations for instance when showing young people statistics on bullying, physical activity, sense of safety or climate anxiety. I have witnessed real revelation in situations where a city planner or a social worker helps young people understand how complex the city is. Or seen moments of awe when an art museum invites young people to see the city’s art vault and choose public art for their school. I have seen lasting impact when an adult verbalizes a young person’s skills in team work, leadership or project management. I would not be a leader without these experiences and I will remember those adults who encouraged me as a teenager forever. These "mirror" and "window" experiences can relieve anxiety by demonstrating they're not alone and can make you feel more confident for the future.
3. Meet them where they are.
Engagement is most effective when it happens in environments where young people feel comfortable. Especially when meeting young people for the first time and especially when you want them to share something sensitive or personal, it is wise to ask them where they would like to meet. Professional youth workers can also give great advice on how to set up the situation so that young people feel confident and welcome. Rather than expecting them to come to you, go to their schools, community centers or online spaces. This communicates that you value their time and are willing to make accommodations. Make sure you have something to eat or drink and ask if they might need support in transportation. This is not to say that leaders should not invite young people to city halls and other spaces like that. But start building the relationship in their environments.
4. Be an adult.
This is my most concrete and straightforward advice: don’t talk about your own youth and your own kids, unless prompted to do so. I will admit that this is the principle I fail the most.
While it's tempting to try to relate to young people by talking about your own youth, this often comes across as not truly listening. Instead, recognize that your experiences are different from theirs, even if you're not that much older. Focus on learning from them, rather than projecting your own story or comparing their experiences to yours. What I have learned is that when you begin from their reality and do not push yours, they become more interested in you and will ask you to share.
5. Be honest.
Most adults want to be nice to young people and not say “no”. I have seen time and time again where well-intentioned adults praise an idea while they already know it will not move forward. Or they say something along the lines of:”Let me come back to that”.
I would advice to learn how to explain why certain ideas may or may not be possible. Transparency about limitations, whether legal or financial, helps build trust. Like in playing a board game, it is wise if everyone knows the rules. Even if you have to say no to a specific proposal, you can work together to find alternative solutions that capture the intent behind their idea.
Most of my work focuses on the idea of convivencia, the capability to coexist and collaborate across difference. The core of convivencia is building on difference rather than trying to dissolve it or explain it away. (Read more here.)
Working with young people is the ultimate test for convivencia. The recognition of difference in experience and aspiration is a prerequisite for innovation, sense of belonging, understanding and equity.
And just like in other fields, I am not saying that if you do practice these five principles, all will go smoothly and without friction. What I suggest is that investing in these five principles allows you to enter engagements with young people with confidence. We can create better conditions for collaboration and co-creation by validating their experiences, providing opportunities for reflection and growth, approaching them with empathy and honesty, showing up and being truthful.
And yes, bring oranges.